An Owl in the Morning

What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?

I don’t try, but manage to skip almost anything I’m supposed to do  automatically in the morning.  Every day I have to remember to brush my teeth and comb my hair.  I keep a calendar full of reminders, tasks, routines, and commitments.  Every day I have to encourage myself to do something. 

It started long ago whenever it was that I became a night owl. All my life it seems.  The counterpart to my night owl is comotose in the morning.  

I get my best sleep in the early morning hours. After 2 a.m.  By morning I am in an altered state of murky consciousness far away from where most people are expected to be by, say 5 a.m.  At 4:00 I’m totally satiated in deep deep sleep.  I’m not dreaming as much as astral traveling.

I use an alarm every day.  Some are early. Some are late. When I awake I’m groggy and often disoriented.  The first thing I do is check my calendar. Date, time, task, and plans clearly listed. Then I roll over and nap until the next alarm goes off.  Twenty minutes might do it.

A doctor once told me that night owls make serotonin in the evening. That’s me. The part of my routine I skip is generally morning.  I need time and quiet.   I can function in the morning, but it takes planning and its own pressure.

When I worked every day I had a short fast start.  Less than an hour to get up, dress, make tea, grab lunch, that was prepared the night before, and out the door.  I never forgeot to brush my teeth.

Now I’m retired and mornings last well into the afternoon.  I sleep in – still use an alarm – and stagger to the kitchen for tea.  Then I  read, write, or study something that’s on my mind.  And often feel guilty that all these decades later I’m still comatose in the morning.